IJSP Number 2, 2020

82 place. For this, the therapy sought was to identify the beliefs behind the phantasms that made up my life scenario. Beliefs determine emotions, and working on beliefs, I have changed my emotions. By using encouragement in expressing repressed needs, contacting, changing beliefs by working with the scenario and the underlying beliefs, the pursuit of the needs and achievement of valorisation lead to juxtaposition. The change occurred when I did not blame my childhood, because I took back the power of the Adult. Awareness of the relationships between the three states of the Ego has been another important key that has allowed me to improve my communication style with the optimization of the relational model. The therapy began with the identification of Ego states and childhood decisions. In order to prevent the Adult being contaminated from meeting the contract of therapy, it was necessary to first solve the parental contamination. The psychotherapists with whom I worked both in training modules and in individual therapy have helped me learn to use and to strengthen my Child Ego status, contributing to development of a relationship with this state. One of the most important and strong awareness that I have learned during the training period and the supervision period, was that I used to act from the state of the Critical Ego, focusing on minor mistakes and imperfections projected on others, rather than my success, which I negated. Self-criticism even contributed to the sabotage of advances made in therapy. Once these things have been brought to the conscious level and the injunctions have been revealed, I have had to go back in the past to make new decisions, and then to strengthen them in the present. I was a quiet, introverted child. As a baby, I developed my reactions according to the expectations of others, which has led to the modelling of the way I am, including the physical level with the body tissues, the emotional level, then the cognitive level, attitudes, beliefs and values. So I came to a series of defences that prevented my unmet childhood needs and feelings from reaching the conscious level. As Erskine said, an effective solution to the scenario occurs in depth, reaching all levels: physical, cognitive and behavioral. The proof of this part of the scenario was physically the disappearance of body tension and back pain, as if hatred and anger were „dissolved.” [2] Speaking in terms of Gestalt, the emotions experienced in childhood came from the introjection of rejection and pain. The transition from sensation to awareness was a very long and painful one. Once it was produced, mobilization and action was needed. These two stages have taken place in individual training, in supervision and in individual therapy. The move to action included building new synapses and strengthening them through real-world behavior, processes that are here and now. The identification and fulfilling of all Gestalt cycles still continues, which is a sign of healing for me. Integrative psychotherapy helped me discover myself. I found out what my introjections are, what I project on others in the hope that it does not belong to me,