IJSP Number 2, 2020

81 The relational difficulties came from the injunction, “You do not belong”. “If I want attention and affection and I do not get an answer, then I better not ask in order to avoid suffering. There is no point in trusting anyone, because anyway they will disappoint, as my father disappointed me”. The wound was profound, bleeding and demanding to be healed. While I worked in individual therapy, I used techniques like the empty chair technique and the writing of a letter through which I returned to the father, verbally, consciously, all the pain, the emotion, the void and the fear of his absence and rejection. Before the therapy sessions, I’ve identified somatic manifestations, from constant pain in the right kidney (the right side being associated with the father), to the feeling of tension in the whole body. During the session using the empty chair technique the feeling of anger grew. It was as if a spring kept under pressure for a long time managed to finally flow. At first I had some restraint in addressing my father in the chair, but with the help of gentle and compassionate support, through the presence and attitude of the therapist, I managed to overcome my resistance at almost every level. I’ve experienced sudden periods of blurring, forgetfulness, nausea, and inability to pronounce words. It was clear evidence that I was working deeply at the unconscious level with the mind losing ground to emotions. The father’s forgiveness was a very important part of my healing, decisive in my release of the weight and burden of wearing those emotional stones for forty-seven years. In personal therapy I was pleased to work with the Psychotherapist, M.N. on several occasions and on various aspects such as: separation of the child from the parents and leaving the symbiosis, the validation of the inner child and his needs to be seen, loved and accepted. Techniques used in individual therapies include somato-therapeutic and relaxation techniques, anchor techniques, recurrence for contact and space, hypnotic induction, therapeutic metaphor, mental imaging and more. Using hypnotic induction and age progression with mental imagery, the psychotherapist has helped me visualize my goal set at the conscious level in a classical cognitive-behavioral manner: “I am in a relationship of love; I am happy and loved as I need and deserve.” The next stage of the therapy was exploring emotions in the future: “How do you feel?”, culminating in building a new scenario, a way of feeling, as I deserve, loved, happy, in the home of my family, surrounded by the love of my beloved, and our two children. Starting from the premise that the Adult is not responsible for what others are doing, during the course of therapy I took back responsibility, which contributed to giving up the loyalty to parenting figures or feeding them and making new decisions. Strengthening these new decisions was realized by informing the Adult so that the Child and Adult can collaborate. The change of system between different levels, physically, cognitively and behaviourally, was an important step in order to ensure that change really takes