IJSP Number 3, 2021

42 does not mean that their core personality has been touched or troubled. At the end of the day, they are back to the same old and habitual ego or self they have always been and they always will be. The problem is the same for a therapist or for a supervisor because, more generally, this is a general pattern to which every civilized citizen has to conform more or less. On the other hand, real and substantial changes cannot be monitored or standardized as easily as for example establishing an IQ or completing some tests. Masks and secret agendas are always there, and this is valid for a common citizen, a psychotherapist, or a supervisor as well. If the therapist has to unravel the secret agendas of hers/his clients, and the supervisor does the same with the therapist’s problems, it remains the question: who does this for the supervisor? For on the supervisor level, although remarkably high, there could be some unresolved issues that can be problematic for her/him, issues they cannot manage with ease, or problems that can give them plenty of headaches. If we follow the line from the individual to the relational level, we can usually observe a pairing desire, through which individuals try to find a good match for themselves and for their ingrained and most probably unconscious incompleteness. This so obvious process of pairing and socializing appears to be necessary because there is an intrinsic feeling of inconsistency and incompleteness that drives individuals towards one another. As Aristotle already remarked, we are social animals, which means – no more and no less – that we usually cannot be alone or on our own. Loneliness seems to be a curse for every human being, or at least for the majority, and consequently, we can witness plenty of social dynamics and restlessness to avoid it. This process is so obvious in the old and therefore traditional mating rituals where two individuals become one entity or family. The question that usually rises in psychotherapy is that of how , how does such a match work? The questions regarding how it started or why it started in the first place, or what could be at the origin of such a tendency are not an issue, and consequently, they are usually neglected. The same pattern applies in the therapeutic relationships as well. It is always about a certain degree of incompleteness that drives clients toward therapists and vice versa, as well as therapists toward supervisors or supervisors toward therapists. Everywhere where there is a human pair or a group that forms a system, we need to consider both members of that system in order to identify what each is seeking. If we further examine, we can observe that the two members of such an equation find themselves driven towards each other by their need to be with somebody as to feel at least some degree of completeness. Therefore – at least from that constellation of insights – psychotherapists should ask themselves why they need clients. What are those clients fulfilling? Furthermore, naturally the same applies to supervisors and their need to supervise too. Is it, after all, a question of fitting or just one of matching (as in pairing)? In order to become a therapist, a good one that is, one must change oneself from a superficial, selfish, and egocentric individual to an altruistic, profound, and