IJSP Number 1, 2019

44 Brutal traumas are overwhelming, suddenly occurred ones. A serious disease in the family, a broken love relationship, a rape or a violent aggression, a separation or a decease are all common brutal traumas, to which the self-treatment solution is often enough. But the terrible experiences registered to an early age, as the incest, the rape, the abuses, the abandonment can produce brutal traumas both in the childhood and at the adult age. In such situations, the competent assistance isn’t just necessary, but also recommended [2]. Subtle traumas occur in a subtle and insidious way during the growing up period of the child and even from the moment of conceiving. They can be caused by the living together with a parent who was himself/herself affected by a trauma, fact that reflects upon the child by parent’s behaviour: abusive, full of cruelty, lonely, sarcastic, distant or showing sadness. To be slapped, to be left crying by him/herself, to be punished, not to be caressed, hugged; all of these being repeated can become major traumas for the little child, making him/her to finally pass subconsciously into a defensive position- in order to face the moments when he/she feels is not loved and no one cares him/her. These subtle traumas represent the cause which stays to the foundation of our further incapacity to pass through more serious traumas. The two types of trauma, the subtle and the brutal one, are actually one and the same thing. An apparent subtle trauma can be felt as a brutal one by a child with a more sensitive, more vulnerable nature. The subtle trauma undermines the self esteem of the child, making him less capable to face the life’s difficulties, so that the brutal traumas have a bigger and bigger effect, being impossible to the child to overcome them. Generally speaking, when we confront a trauma we can face it either by on our own or with the help of family or friends, social services- which consist in what we generic call a social support. But as on our times it seems that the social structure disintegrates, becoming frivolous, superficial, disrupted; as we can see that the great united and solid families split and their members communicate less and especially by phone, the long life friendships disappear lost in a society which has the money as a main goal – often people have no one to talk to. 2. TRAUMA AND PROCESS OF MATURING Traumas have some certain stages of occurring and healing. There is a dynamics of trauma which varies from an individual to another, depending on the self esteem, the previous traumatising experiences etc. There are some well determined and understandable models of traumas; for instance, those described in Elisabeth Kubler Ross papers, referred to death, those of Alice Miller and other authors, concerning violence and ill-treatment. The healing of wounds caused by a